STILL IN MY HEART
by Karen M
Summary: Amanda has grown weary of Lee's demeaning attitude toward her, and all her emotions come to light.


  
STILL IN MY HEART   
  
What If for Affair At Bromfield Hall   
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Warner Bros and Shoot the Moon Productions.  
The story is mine for everyone's entertainment.  
  
TIMEFRAME: Second Season-filler for Affair at Bromfield Hall.  
  
RATING: PG  
  
SUMMARY: Amanda is weary of how demeaning she is treated by Lee, especially at Bromfield  
Hall, and all her emotions come to a head.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had two versions of this What If. This is the more emotional one. This filler  
will lead to an adventure for the two in Switzerland.  
  
PART I  
  
"Mr. Stetson, there's a phone call for you from America," Lord Bromfield's secretary announced.  
"Thanks, Mrs. Styles, I'll be right there.," Scarecrow replied. He took the call in the main floor library.  
  
"Yes, Billy, I understand. I'll talk to Amanda, and get right back to you." Lee went upstairs, and   
approached Amanda's room to inform her that the flight back to D.C. had been cancelled for them.  
Billy had an immediate assignment in Switzerland of the utmost importance. They need to be there  
in three days. This one was on the dangerous side, but Billy felt Amanda was ready. He was going  
to leave the final decision up to Amanda.  
  
As he came near her door, he heard her softly crying, and whispering to an invisible friend named   
Panda. This friend was her comforter, or her guardian angel, who listened in silence when there was  
no one else to turn to for comfort.  
  
"Hi, Panda, I need to talk to you again. I don't know how longer I can take this. I'm sorry about the  
crying, I'm not a child.  
  
To begin with, I wish Lee and I had never played a pretend married couple at San Angelo. I was kissed  
by him , so tenderly. Since then, I can't get out of my mind or my dreams. This is all so intense and   
new to me. I don't know what to do anymore. If I leave the Agency, he'll still be in my heart. I think  
it's better to have his friendship, than not know him at all. Right now, I don't even have that luxury.  
  
Get me out of this, Panda, oh God, get me out of loving Lee so much .   
  
There was nothing that was my fault concerning that alleged affair with Lord Bromfield. Yet he blamed  
me.  
  
I saved his life. Did I hear "thank you". They're simple words.  
  
I know I looked pretty good in that black gown for the Bromfield Gala, did he compliment me, other  
men noticed.  
  
Somewhere inside him, there's a big heart, with a deep capacity for love.  
  
He stands with me at the bridge, when I approach the subject of touching each other when you care  
-------he knows, Panda. Thanks for listening, Panda." Amanda is now sobbing  
  
Lee can't handle the emotion surfacing . He is now fully in tears,  
  
An operative in tears.  
  
That's unreasonable, unforgivable.  
  
Necessary to open his heart.  
  
In deep turmoil, he thinks "why am I crying. I never cry. Looking back at Amanda, his mind focusing,  
"what can I say to her. I don't deserve her." Lee turned his face to the wall, to hide from Amanda,  
and the pain of reality.  
  
Amanda heard himwhimper, tears still very evident on his face. "Lee, what's wrong?" she dried her  
tears, and went to him, turning him toward her. She looked at his face, red and teary. "Lee, please, tell  
me," he couldn't speak. She placed her arms around his waist, and gently leaned him in for a hug.  
With that simple gesture, she turned his world inside out.  
  
"How can you hold me in your arms, and comfort me after how selfish I've acted, asking ME what's   
wrong? The truth, Amanda, was what you told Panda," his sad eyes aimed directly at her.  
  
"I'm so sorry. Maybe, I should have the code name, Tinman, he had no heart. Amanda didn't say a   
word, she just held him tight, as tight as she could, and let Lee vent.  
  
PART II  
  
Finally, getting a grip on her emotions, she replied. "Your heart's as big as the sky. Lee. It's just been  
hiding behind the sun for awhile, that's all," she looked into his beautiful hazel eyes, and wiped the rest  
of his tears away. Lee grabbed her hand, and gently kissed it.   
  
"My heart is full of love for you, Mrs. King," Scarecrow replied, drawing her closer. "I'm glad Panda  
didn't listen to you about finding a way to stop loving me, because I so desperately need your love in  
my life," Lee leaned in and kissed Amanda passionately. She responded eagerly, taking in all the wonder-  
ment of kissing Lee Stetson, and being enveloped in his love.  
  
Neither wanted the moment to end. "I love you so much, Lee," Amanda whispered.  
  
"Billy called, explaining that there's another assignment waiting in Switzerland for both of us. This one's  
on the dangerous side. Our cover would be husband and wife again. But, you wouldn't get a chance to  
be stateside to see the boys or Dotty. So what do you want to do?" He had to have a decision soon.  
  
"I want to be with you, Lee. I can handle the danger, as long as you're with me," answered Amanda  
immediately.  
  
"I hoped you would agree to stay. I really need you now. I love you, Amanda," Scarecrow kissed her.  
"I love you, too, Lee," Amanda returned the kiss.   
  
PART III  
  
"Billy also admonished me for taking all the credit on this case, so I told him you saved my life, and I   
was very grateful. He then asked if I thanked you. I replied no. Then he added. "Scarecrow , I don't  
blame her if she leaves you. You don't deserve her. I'm giving her partial credit, Lee, whether you like  
it, or not."  
  
"I told Billy he was right, and I apologized to him. "Lee, do you know what a jewel you have in Amanda?"  
I said, "Yes I did realize that, but sometimes I take her for granted."  
  
"Well, don't," he warned, "because someday, she may not be there anymore. You hear me, Lee, you  
hear me?"  
  
"Loud and clear, Billy, loud and clear."   
  
"So, thank you, darling. For everything."  
  
ON TO SWITZERLAND, our next adventure   



End file.
